C&K: Our Story

I realize that not all who care to know may not actually know the love story between myself and C. However, it has also come to my attention previously and I was lately reminded again, that some people have been told a falsified version of this "love story." So for those who might be interested I am here to set the record straight and tell the true story of how I met the love of my life.

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It all began back in 2008. I was in my Senior year of high school, in the midst of soccer season, worked an after school night/weekend job and was about a month away from graduation when my life made a significant change for the best. At the time I had a GREAT friend. We often hung out together and did everything together. We were best friends or I believed that at the time. I learned that April there was an older sibling (a boy) of this friend for whatever unknown (still) reason I'm not sure why I never "knew" about him. Either I missed it in a conversation once and it was never a discussion since or it was simply as I believed never really mentioned but perhaps in passing. Well I was informed that he was going to be in town for two weeks visiting her and her family on his R&R "leave" from his current deployment with the Army to Afghanistan. I took that as an understanding I may not see her as often as I normally had, but that was not problem I totally understood her wanting to spend that short time with her brother and family.

To make a long story and description short, she invited me over one night to hang out, I showed up in jeans, a hoodie, and my glasses after a soccer practice one night and much to my surprise her brother was there at the apartment and that was our first introduction to one another. And as expected like in more stories "the rest was history."

I learned later that night after I left that her brother had chosen to stick around that night because he had heard her talk about me and she had shown him pictures and he was attracted to me and interested in meeting me. And so that night was the beginning of the matchmaking turn relationship to occur over the next 14ish days.

 (Yes, it did happen super fast and most people would think especially for such a decision to be made it might seem absurd or unreal or flat out CRAZY but here I am more than three years later sharing my love story...)

So after that first night we met, I was kind of surprised and shocked that this guy had taken a liking to me. ME? really, WHY? is what I had to ask. Throughout the rest of his two weeks in America we spent every minute we could together. I would go by after school/soccer/ and work were finished for the day so I could spend time at the apartment not only with him but his sister, MY FRIEND as well. Over this time our interest in each other grew along with he help of the matchmaking from his sister.

I remember one instance of a set up his sister arranged for us, and at the time I got so upset that she had gone through with her plan but it worked out in the end. I had an away soccer match one of the first days after I had met C and had already made arrangements to hang out afterwards with my friend. Well she slyly decided to tell me here is C's number in case you cant reach me call him when you get back from you game to be picked up. (See at the time both my brother D and I were driving but only had one car - since I had a soccer game away and took the bus with the team he had the car for work..)

Well I ended up calling C because his sister refused to answer her phone and I couldn't sit around much longer waiting to be picked up. I was so embarrassed and was feeling super shy, but with all these awkward matchmaking plans and my willingness to cave into them brought C and I to where we are today.

When those two weeks ended I felt like they had been a month, a year or even longer. I knew this man was who I was meant to be with, I knew that this was going to be the start of something wonderful, something amazing  something special! We spent the next 8 months of our relationship getting to know each other better and growing together via emails back and forth and  the occasional phone call I would thankfully and luckily receive from Afghanistan....and here we are more than three years and another deployment apart later still more in love than ever with our love growing and getting stronger with each day!

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Now, I know the story may not be the most romantic or a little "short and to the point" but that is how it really happened. Sure there are other details here and there that might be those "aww" sweet moments but in those quick two weeks, and then over the next 8 months apart they were also personal moments and I respect not only myself but the idea and concept of privacy for C and anyone else involved during those times. 

If there are questions about anything that did or didn't happen during the meeting and MATCHMAKING of C and I, I don't mind answering any questions about discrepancy, as I might remind people I wrote this entry to set the record straight because of the lie and falsified information on how C and I became a couple. 

Anyone who trulystory of how C and I met or got together did not happen because set out to "hit on," "seduce," or "hook up" with the man I am with and the man that I love, nor would I engage in that kind of activity or "man hunting." However, there are some people don't want to admit and take responsibility for their actions and the role they partook in bringing C and I together. 

I love this man, I will always love this man. AND regardless of if others want to spread lies about us, or "hate" us for some unknown reason or don't want to support our love for one another is not going to stop us from having a life of our own. I just want people to know the TRUTH, especially when I know there has been misguidance involving the story about mine and C's relationship.

.::.A Second Memorial Day.::.

This story begins much earlier than last week when a good friend shared a link with me on facebook about a fallen Marine and the expected protest by Westboro Baptist Church members at his funeral. The talk was to get a group together to go in support, but literally I wasn't sure if I would go until I woke up on Monday morning. I felt selfish for not jumping at the opportunity to go in support and though  I wasn't sure about going still, all I could think about was Sgt. Kevin B Balduf, and his family, children and, wife who were left behind.

Yesterday, a fallen Marine,  Sgt. Kevin Balduf was remembered by his family, friends, and strangers from across the country, at Woodmont Church in Nashville, TN. 

My day started catching a  Rural Metro ambulances serving as a shuttle bus between the fairgrounds (for parking) and the church. Outside the church a couple thousand individuals who didn't know this young hero still gathered in his honor. Yesterday there were only Americans on those church grounds no one saw gender, race, religion just true Red, White and Blue AMERICANs. This was the day we all had something in common; What did we have in common?

We had flags and American Pride. Big flags, little flags, middle sized flags. Flags on shirts, hats, bikes, cars, taped to ambulance antennas and we bonded on the feeling that this was where we had to be. Our being there was, in part, due to the threat the well known (for not so popular reasons) Westboro Baptist Church. We were not there to cause a fight, although many of us had boiling blood running through our veins; but because Kevin's family needed our love and our protection and Kevin's family still needed to know he was appreciated, respected and honored for his ultimate sacrifice.

I expected to spend a day planning to be hot, tired, and sweaty. What I didn't expect was to have what seemed like dozens of Marines walking up and down the lines, shaking everyone's hand and saying thank you to the "ordinary citizens". I didn't expect to see Kevin's family and friends walking down the long lines and among the groups of supporters shaking thier hands with each person and saying "Thank you for beng here"

Everyone was sharing water and lunches back and forth. It absolutely was an atmosphere where if an issue came up, the only response on everyone's lips was "What can I do to help?" There were lots of kids present, but not one meltdown. It was like a Sunday afternoon at a big family reunion with all the family hanging out and visiting. The whole atmosphere was one of calm, dedication and purpose paired with love and cheerfulness.

 Around 1pm you could hear motorcycles in the distance and before you knew it there were 300+ motorcycles pulling up to help with the counter protest. This is also about the time traffic starts coming to a stop in both directions from people rubber necking and even a few pulling over to ask what was going on. Around 2pm word was getting out that WBC were on the way to the small section the city granted them for a 45 minute protest permit. Upon the arrival of the like the 3 people from WBC who managed to show up I contemplated following the crowd going to confront these people (mostly our of curiosity to see these people first hand) or stay where I was. As I walked up to where the crowd was gathering my heart started to race and my anger started to surface. I'm not sure what I was expecting to see (and in a crowd where I'm like barely 5'3 it was hard to see) but when I finally saw them it all I felt was anger and somewhat of a surprise. All that had shown up from Westboro was two older women and a young teenage boy to spread their hatred.  Also, to my surprise was their "protest," they didn't speak, just held their signs and disappeared almost as quickly as they showed up. 

During this gathering someone started shouting USA USA USA! Which then of course turned into a full blown chorus of everyone in the area joining in  with the bikes joining in with revving their engines just a few feet away. All pushing toward one goal. To let them know that when you come to Nashville to protest against one of our own you had better bring your "a game." As true Americans should we take care of our own. Once they were gone people started to file back to their respective spots on the roads and started to wave their flags again.

As an proud American, as sister to a new Marine, and the lucky girlfriend of an American Soldier and I am happy to say and feel absolutely proud to have been a very small part of a very big effort.

This is ME

If you don't like what I have to say - then don't read it...

This blog is MINE. I write here because it is my outlet. I don't write for anyone else but myself. I choose to leave this blog public for those who wish to read it because they are interested in something I might happen to write about. I don't write and leave it public for intentional offense or to direct anything at anyone. These are my thoughts pure, raw, and uncut.

If you do not like what I have to write about, or if you are offended by anything I write about then simply don't read my blog. I will not now, nor ever, apologize for being myself. If you are going to be paranoid or think everything I write is about you or someone you know, and then you feel a need to comment on such stuff - again the simple solution is to not read my blog.

This is my space, and this is my outlet for me -- no one else. If you have a genuine interest in what I might happen to say from time to time then great, you are more than welcome to enjoy my blog. If you are reading to get riled up, or to stalk what my thoughts and opinions are -- only to assume they are about you or someone else you know then -> the choice to read is yours. I can't make you stop reading just like I'm not gonna stop writing because you don't support or agree with my statement/opinions/feelings. That isn't my problem it happens to be yours and only yours.

Thanks.

Can anyone explain?

So I am just curious if this doesn't make sense to anyone else..

How does someone tell you they no longer can be your friend on facebook because they don't wanna see what groups you like or approve/want to see some of the things in your statuses? 

((EXAMPLE song lyrics which had the word "hell" in it))

But then that same person can send out an email with such colorful language as this:

"That's right bitch it's real!"

"dumb ass"

"this shit anymore."

"Leave me the hell alone"

"I am fed up with your bullshit and will not tolerate it anymore" <--- this is particularly interesting since I tried civilly speaking with this individual about 8 months ago and got no response and until this little wack-out hadn't heard a thing from them or interacted with them .. so I'm unsure of "my BS" they are referring to..?

I mean is it just me or does that seem a bit hypocritical? Don't get me wrong here, I could care less if you want to be my facebook friend, or my friend in real life - that decision is yours I'm gonna be my real self either way. This isn't a post about "facebook" and being too attached to it - but to shine light on the absolute "fakeness" of people when they hide behind a computer screen and social networking sites.

I've touched on hypocrisy and my feelings about it before, but usually people don't blatantly provide such a clear example and proof? 

I mean don't be so against something and so anti-something and then turn around do the same things you just  condemned someone for?!

Some people just will never be able to show their true colors without finding themselves in lies and hypocritical acts - that much is obvious. I just don't get it - are you going to practice what you preach or preach what you don't practice because you know all the right things to say but don't know how to live that way?

...and you call yourself a christian...

dr. jekyll & MRS. hyde

DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor, so what I have to say is not intended to diagnose or treat any certain individual(s); however, I am studying Psychology at a UNIVERSITY working towards obtaining an actual 4-year  college degree. Yes, that's right; whether you choose to believe it or not just because it takes you 4 years to complete a program at a community college does not mean you can actually posses a bachelor's degree when you finally graduate - community colleges do NOT have four-year degree programs.. SORRY!!

& back to my point, I am not saying I am qualified to diagnose, but I am qualified to know and understand what I am talking about....

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Borderline personality disorder

Borderline personality disorder is a condition in which people have long-term patterns of unstable or turbulent emotions, such as feelings about themselves and others.

These inner experiences often cause them to take impulsive actions and have chaotic relationships. [such as ending relationships abruptly for no actual reason]

Causes, incidence, and risk factors

The causes of borderline personality disorder (BPD) are unknown. Genetic, family, and social factors are thought to play roles.

Risk factors for BPD include:

Abandonment in childhood or adolescence

Disrupted family life

Poor communication in the family

This personality disorder tends to occur more often in women.

Symptoms

People with BPD are often uncertain about their identity. As a result, their interests and values may change rapidly. [and often]

People with BPD also tend to see things in terms of extremes, such as either all good or all bad. [there are no grey areas in life and they tend to constantly switch sides and views on social, moral, religious and political issues] Their views of other people may change quickly. [and often; even switching between individuals they hate then like again ] A person who is looked up to one day may be looked down on the next day. These suddenly shifting feelings often lead to intense and unstable relationships.

Other symptoms of BPD include:

Fear of being abandoned

Feelings of emptiness and boredom [usually blamed on other people for not being interested enough in their life]

Frequent displays of inappropriate anger [often at other people, deciding to hate or dislike them with no incident or real reason besides what is conjured in their own head]

Intolerance of being alone [always has to find someone to fill that "best friend" role and demands much attention and time to qualify being a good friend but not giving any of that "best friend-ness" back in return]

Treatment

[like alcohol or drug addiction the first step is acceptance because first reactions on learning about their issue is going to be denial...] Many types of individual talk therapy, such as dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), can successfully treat BPD.In some cases, medications can help level mood swings and treat depression or other disorders that may occur with this condition.

Expectations (prognosis)

The outlook depends on how severe the condition is and whether the person is willing to accept help. With long-term talk therapy, the person will often gradually improve.

Complications

Problems with work, family, and social relationships

Depression

References

1. Blais MA, Smallwood P, Groves JE, Rivas-Vazquez RA. Personality and personality disorders. In: Stern TA, Rosenbaum JF, Fava M, Biederman J, Rauch SL, eds. Massachusetts General Hospital Comprehensive Clinical Psychiatry. 1st ed. Philadelphia, Pa: Mosby Elsevier;2008:chap 39.

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Now I am not making light of or making fun of this issue or disease or condition - it is serious and it is legit and it tears people's lives apart those with it and those affected by it...

Does it sound like anyone you know? Yeah, sounds like someone I know, and I actually have a lot of sympathy and sadness for such individuals. I hate knowing they need help and that by denying a problem they are utilmately responsible for the demise of their relationships whether they are friendships or partnered relationships. The reason they will always face this issues in life is because of the two extreme ends of personality - there is no set time period for one extreme and these individuals will switch between the two without even knowing it so one day after they think life is looking up and everything is perfect and working out they wake up and are miserable and depressed again. They can't figure out why their friendships or relationships aren't working...

What's worse is when people have tried to reach out and help or offer/suggest they get help before they enter this other emtoional extreme. But then before they can admit there is something wrong they wake up one day and decide that this person who cared about them and only wanted what was best for them, someone who genuinely was trying to help them feel better was no longer a good friend to them.

You think it can't get worse than that either until this person starts realizing what they have done - but it's easier to listen to lies or make up lies to believe so they never have to encounter any guilts or admit that maybe this person they have decided to hate so intensely isn't the bad guy. Are they perfect and flawless - no I have made mistakes and I have my faults but I own them and welcome them. I don't set out to spread lies about someone else - I don't try to recruit others to hate me as well - and I especially don't set out to try and influence the opinions of those who don't actually know me. I don't try to convince others or my family to not like someone just because I choose to think of them or treat them worst than dirt...

So whose worse? Those who spread the lies and spend their free time trashing my name, or those who choose to believe it even after no bad experiences in my presence (and knowing who I am but choosing to listen to others than themselves and what they know to be true) and those who choose to believe things about another person not even personally knowing me...

I don't know, and in the long run I don't really care because I know and have confidence that I am staying true to myself. 

I don't hide anything I do. I don't act any differently with people around me as I would alone or behind closed doors. I don't lie to my friends. I don't lie to my family. I don't sugar coat my thoughts or opinions. I will welcome confrontation and if you are going to confront me then be that adult you claim to be in approaching me and don't get others to try calling or texting me and doing your dirty work. - I am real and I am ME. I find that is usually what most people don't like and I am not going to change who I am to please ANYONE. If you accept me for who I am then great - if you don't then that is your choice. 

Oh, and also don't ever assume you know what I am doing and or thinking .. don't tell me "you know what I wanted to talk about" because last time I checked .. i don't read minds and you can't read mine either. Assuming things just make you look stupid (dumb) and immature....