I have decided I really dislike doctors, no seriously. Someone please explain to me how an adequate blood test can be done with one drop of blood from a finger stick?! Riiight. All I want is for someone to be able to explain to me whats wrong. I feel so terrible, like I can barely function, and there is no answer. :o(
In seminar today we started an opera by Mozart called Cosi fan Tutte. We haven't gotten that far into it yet, however so far I'm a little irritated with it. May not be too much if a surprise. I completely sympathize with the sisters in the opera who are in love with a soldier, while I do feel they are a little extreme in their emotional rants, I can understand that actually feeling that is attempting to be portrayed. It is a feeling you can't really describe, and in reality, no one else can understand the depth and strength of trust that has two run through a soldier and the woman who is there for them. I don't say this to make me out to be a super hero, but until you experience it yourself, no one can explain the bond. It is not anything like a typical long distance relationship to go through a deployment. Some would think I am use to it, my dad being formal military, however it is so much more different going from the dependent during a deployment to the girlfriend or lover whichever term is preferred. So far in this opera the sisters are about to be separated from their soldiers as they leave on assignment. I know those emotions all too well, and they were re-stirred up all to freshly during that scene. (oh I'm such a girl! haha) It's a pain that fades and a hole that will remain until the return home, only to be satisfied on occasion if a phone call here or there, or perhaps an email is allowed. What bothered me the most about this opening is the extremes the sister went - a little over-kill on the emotion so to speak. It's never easy to say a goodbye even if it is temporary, but to essentially "freak out" (for lack of a better term) as the sisters did was a bit too much! Now to get a soap box for another thing that in all honest infuriated me thus far was the responses and reactions from other characters. The maid for the sisters made a comment about how there is always someone else. - What even now people don't understand is when you love a soldier, it gives many more and new perspectives on life and the world. In reality yes, after time to heal and grieve I fully believe if a loved one dies at war there can be someone else - but to know that day in and day out the one you care most about is in the face of danger practically 24/7 is not a comforting thought. I guess what got me all worked up I can't really put into words, its one of those emotions you can't quite get out into words, I don't even know a synonym I can give to help; but what the maid did not understand is that it's not as simple as she want the sisters to believe. Perhaps just from personal experience I took offense to her words, I don't know. I'm sure much of how I look at this opera and my reflections are going to be a little more biased and a result of the personal emotion and experiences I will have with what we will be looking at for the next week and then some.....
Because I am completely ADD (ADHD is the politically correct term emphasize on the more Attention rather that Hyperactivity portion) I am sure there will be a soap box episode of the medical profession in the near future. Now don't get me wrong I do appreciate what they can do for society .... but if only you knew...
anywho, until tomorrow (or whenever I happen to sit down and actually remember to write up an entry)
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